Friday, July 29, 2011

A Genuinely Modest Proposal

Dear Mr. Boehner:
Now that your little stunt has backfired here's what you do today:

First thing, you tell the Tea Party freshmen to go fuck themselves. Then you introduce and work with mainline rank and file Republicans and all Democrats to pass a very simple, genuinely bipartisan bill. Here's what that bill does: it raises the debt ceiling by $1 trillion dollars so that the White House can make the payments Congress has directed it to make.

Here's what it doesn't do: anything else. No spending cuts. No tax hikes. You can address those in separate bills. SINCE THEY ARE SEPARATE ISSUES.

The Senate will pass the bill today; the President will sign it today.

You will have done your job. And then you can have your silly little debate about austerity measures.
It's called putting your country before partisanship --- which is why we can be pretty confident you won't do it.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Ideas Man Returns to the Mythology of Eros

After the difficulties of Seuss I am returning to the Mythology of Eros.  But I figured out how to do an audiorecorder, which I prefer to the webcam.  Sorry to those of you who'll miss my handsome mug.  Still, you kids who are coming in late should scroll down and listen to the earlier installments.

<BGSOUND src="">

V) Lamentation to Maria

O madre de dioso,
O madre dolorosa,
You know the places that I sleep,
You know the comfort that I keep.

If now I ask that you go home,
Know that I will not alone.

A grotesque boast,
To mutter to the mother of the sacred host.

A selfish reason,
To assail the mother church with treason.

Sunday, July 03, 2011

Doctor Seuss Challenge, Day Three: My Music

Day 3: My Music

<BGSOUND src="">

In the faraway land of Deserotes
Young Ammon slaved away amidst the notes
Sang church humns, played piano, viola
Not well mind you, but enough to know a
Pattern when it emerged. He let a groan
Escape against this weary, pious tone.
He had no sense of pop or Madonna
But caught The Cure and was a goner.
The New Wave carried him out, ten years late.
He listened to The Smiths, had nothing but hate
For the retrograde tie-dyes of his peers,
Fled to Mexico in the midst of their jeers,
Chilled in the Alameda, hung with the punks,
Danced to Norteño, punched with the drunks,
Returned to Deserotes, saw the flannel
Knew they'd finally discovered the channel
Where the future played.  Still, he had a sneer
As he told them. "I've been listening for years."
But then the Gavin-Rosdale-A-Tron came
(A cunning machine the industry made)
and sucked. It was the death of an era.
Am. retreated again, didn't care a
Lick for rock, took to pop, worse the better:
Spice Girls, 'N Sync, why not Celine Dion?
But then fate fooled him. He read Thomas Mann.
Back to strings, now Messaien, Schönberg
Only then Bach, Beethoven and Schubert.
And then Apple invented the IPod
That was it. It was the end of genre.
Depressed kids music as well as old school
Iron and Wine, also Ladies Love Cool.
Even the pre-punk wasn't all bad.
Sure there was junk like Cream, but then they had
The Velvet Underground, Leonard Cohen,
Tom Waits, even Dylan was cool oh and
Bowie. But then you'd always known Bowie,
Ziggy Stardust, the Man from Mars, so he
Should have showed you there was always much more
Than the same tired crap that you'd heard before.
There's music enough. You have ears to hear.
Just don't take the shit they shove at your ears.

Saturday, July 02, 2011

31 Day Doctor Seuss Challenge Day 2: Your Love

You get a twofer because I started a day late.

Day 2: My Love

<BGSOUND src="">

This way for Aphrodite's menagerie.
Right through this tent.  Oh the birds that you'll see!

The Front Door & Back Door Crunkamathunk
Opens its heart till it hurts, then gets drunk.
(That's a lie. It really just loves itself.
Everything else is a mere prize for its shelf.)

The Splendid Melancholy Gadzooki
Dreams of nothing all day long but beauty.
It can't leave this room.  We can't let it glimpse
The traffic of life out there with the pimps.

Here's the Muffled Green Hooded Stravinschick
Which worships only the purest music.
The Delphic bird can't sing no more.  It's heard
The sounds of Heaven autotuned. Absurd
As it sounds every Muse it's known has flown
To aesthetic chopshops.  Now they're all clones.

What's that? This is about love? Silly me.
Scratch all that.  Well then, hmm... Okay, let's see.
Family, friends, other such happy words
Leave all that other sad crap for the birds.

31 Doctor Seuss Challenge: Day One

So we interrupt my intermittent poetry on the ancients to participate in my friend Dr. J's 31 Day Doctor Seuss Challenge, in which each day we'll feature a different theme presented in Seussian verse.

<BGSOUND src="">

Day One: My Job

Ladies and Gentleman, step right this way.
See the absurd sight of Professor A.
Nobody ever knows quite what he says,
But they think it's whatever comes into his head.

Little do they know of his master plan:
Convert the whole world into Hölderlin fans.
He's at it in class and out on the town,
His shirt always untucked beneath his gown.

He writes words on pages.  Pay them no mind.
He's overcommitted, always behind
On the review that's due, his book's precis
the poems he's promised his good friend Leigh.

He says things in places.  Give them no heed.
It's just the stuff he wishes you'd read.
He dreams things are otherwise than they are.
Just let him follow this otherworld's star.

Ladies and Gents, we know.  What can we say?
It's not much. That's why he barely gets paid.